Posts Tagged ‘trust’

We put ourselves on a tightrope of rules

It is late and I just returned home from a panel at the Writer’s Guild in Hollywood where the talk was all about storytelling and Transmedia.

The panel and this post are connected somehow – I’m sure of it! But don’t count on me to make the bridge tonight!

My head is swirling. But I want to make sure this gets posted because I’ve been having conversations with friends and clients lately that I feel are important…all about trust. When we put ourselves in a straight jacket with rules that don’t suit us, the inner “us” is going to rebel.

This puts us on a tightrope of sorts. The inner and the outer in a tug of war leaving the middle teetering on this tightrope. We are bound to feel strung out.

We have a wider road than we think

Giving ourselves a wide road is an easier way to live. The question is…can we trust ourselves to self-correct along this wide road? If I stay up late tonight can I take a nap tomorrow? Or sleep late? If I eat a big dinner can I trust myself to eat a bit less in the morning or just skip breakfast if I’m still full?

When we trust ourselves we become trustworthy

I think that the more permission we give ourselves, the more trust, the more trustworthy we become. It is like this with our kids and employees.  We just aren’t used to giving ourselves the same courtesy. For some reason, some of us are more accustomed to a whipping post.

As an experiment try giving yourself permission to eat as many cookies as you want. To work out when you want. To wake up when you want.

What if what you want is exactly the right thing for you

You may find that “when you want” or “how many you want” is the exact right amount. And if in the beginning you overshoot then trust you will automatically self-correct over time.

Just writing that I let out a deep sigh of relief…this is such a relaxing and supportive way to live.

Like saying to yourself,  ”Hey, friend, I’ve got your back.” Rather than, “Hey, you, I’ve got my eye on you.”

Loneliness …

Henner's Solitude

Cures What Ails You?

“The best cure for loneliness is solitude.” – Marianne Morre

I think about this quote and I think that the thing we (we who?) are most missing is something on the inside.

What holds us up?

It seems we are internally underdeveloped and externally overdeveloped: cluttered, distracted. The show Hoarders has captured the nation’s attention in such an uncanny way. Why? Is there something to wanting so much stuff around us? Is it  meant to bolster us up?  If it is all gone do we just fall apart?

Clutter, hoarding and mood

Of course hoarders is an extreme but there is a continuum.  Now don’t get me wrong. I love my stuff. I love my iPhone, and MacBook Air, and all the applications that whirl and buzz within.

I also think if all this stuff isn’t balanced out with a little old fashioned space (aka peace and quiet), or even loneliness and boredom, a lot of different kinds of build up can happen. I can see it in my temperament (irritation) and I see it in client’s homes (clutter). You may have the space to put something but still not ever make the time to do so.

Sometimes a banana is just …clutter.

I think there is usually something behind disorganization. And it doesn’t have to be pathological or neurotic. Usually it has to do with being willing to slow down or let go. It usually has to do with being willing to let go of some of the distractions in favor of some solitude.  It is about spending some time with yourself and the choices you’ve been making.

For more ideas about how to reduce clutter sign up for my monthly Best of the Best: HERE.

My clients always want to know what my apartment looks like. Prospective clients too. Most people I meet actually, once they find out what I do. A follow up question is, “Are you organized? What does your place look like?” I think people want to catch me with my junk drawers down. My place is a mess on occasion and I am completely fine with it. Mess being a different issue from dirty…which I’m not so fine with. (Mess = stuff everywhere,  dirty = um… dirty, dust, dirt,

sticky, dust-bunny-madness-running-the-all-star-dirt-show… right?)

I have a small apartment in Venice and if I don’t put my jacket away the place is a mess.  In a small place if you are not on top of every one of your items it doesn’t take much for the place to look frumpy. Having said that about 50% of the time I just don’t care. I will walk in the door with bags on every arm. Drop them, head for the couch with the takeou

Venice Beach, Sketch Image by roberthuffstutter via Flickr

t, watch 6 hours of Mad Men and go straight to bed.  Nothing and I mean nothing, gets put away. (Shocking – I know, but I like to live on the edge.) But those last two words are the key to it all for me and for what I work with clients on. Put away. There is a place for it all to go when motivation strikes and I feel like putting it all away. That is the key to organization – having a place for everything…and trusting yourself to eventually put the thing in the place it lives in.  There is sanity in letting it live both in and out of its place.