Palais Professional Organizer

Posts Tagged ‘overwhelm’

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine the other night who is a successful business owner.

She and her husband do the lions-share of the work in their 2 stores and what came up were all the million and one ways in which to keep track, log, list, remind and otherwise drive oneself nuts trying to stay organized and on top of the workload of a small-mid size business.

This is not the first time I have heard this. Many of my clients are faced with not the lack of tools with which to stay organized but quite the opposite…there are so many!! Which is the BEST?

I wish I could tell you. But I can’t. What I can tell you is that I try to use them all for a while so that I can speak to as many of the productivity tools out there with some aplomb.

Having said that I think the simplest is always best. And on top of that I think that you just have to make a decision to use one or two – for better or for worse and stick to them. Even if something shiner and newer comes out. Just stay where you are and get really good with the tools you have otherwise you’ll go nuts and spend all of your time messing around with productivity tools and no time being productive. I see that a lot.

My short list:

Evernote – it is your external memory. You can use tags and notebooks and don’t really have to be too terribly organized. Just throw stuff in there that you want for later. It is great for information that you want but don’t know where to put. Information that you don’t necessarily need immediately.

Book lists, pic of your friend’s purse that you want to find online, clip web pages of notes for your website etc Syncs to your phone.

Manymoon - great for project management and sharing in groups. You can link to Google calandar and upload docs to it so there is a bit of a dropbox functionality here. There are tasks for each project that you can assign to team members, reminders can be set up, Also syncs to your phone. I’m using it for a work team and will try it with a client too. Stay tuned!

What are your favorite to-do list apps? Project management tools?

We think we control what we do.

But the reality is that…. we just kindof end up doing what we do. A simple example is this: I go into the closet and choose what to wear today. I am not one of those people who can lay out my clothing the night before. How am I going to know what I am going to wear tomorrow until t0morrow gets here?  Sometimes I wonder why I am even wearing what I’m wearing. This happens more all the time actually and I’m grateful for it. Not for any fashion statement but for a letting go. A discovery. Oh – so this is what it is going to be today? Fine.

And before you start to argue with me about free will, think to all of those times when you said you wanted to work out and you just can’t seem to do it. Or you wanted to save that money but you bought a guitar instead. Or you were supposed to get the salad but ordered the burger. There are plenty of times when we do what we say as well. But can you really point to why? Seems almost luck if you think of it in comparison to all the times body and mind refuse to line up.

Observe yourself in your day and see how easy it is to “make” yourself do anything at all.

That is why I think with organizing, or working out, or any other change or alteration you want to make it is easier to go very  slowly with small almost imperceptible changes and implement alterations in other areas that aren’t “hot.” Telling, ordering, demanding and planning sometimes works about as well as reasoning with a 2-year old.

Panic button (Photo by Isaac Schlueter)

Warning signs – time to listen

What does it look like?  So many different things. You can be very put together on the surface and underneath you are brewing up a full tilt storm. Overwhelm is like the gathering clouds before the outburst of thunder, lightning and hail.

I think we can all agree that it feels like hell to be overwhelmed no matter what it looks like. I had someone walk up to me today, eyes bulging, hand on heart and say they felt like they were having a panic attack. That is when things are boiling over.

Panic – what’s the message?

Panic is when the overwhelm has come to a head. Now all the hell that has been brewing up is going to burst forth and create major havoc emotionally, mentally and physically so that we will absolutely. Have. To. Stop. Everything.

So really, if we paid close attention to this overwhelm we could head some serious issues off at the pass. This icky, hellish feeling is trying to say something to us. Hello…yoohoo! We have a message! What is that message?

Self care is a good start

I don’t know…you have to talk to your overwhelm and ask it. Have a dialogue. See what it tells you. Mine said, uh, you need to do the writing you said you would do. You need to make the food you said you’d make. And eat it. Go to bed. And that would be a good start. I feel better already just for having listened. You probably will too.

Try it and let me know how it goes. What did your overwhelm say? What did it tell you to do?

Connecting with my book, The Art of Happiness

Right now I’m reading The Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler. I don’t know if I’m any happier yet but I have even more understanding and compassion than I already did (the DL is big on compassion) for those lacking in the letting go gene.

Cutler explains the Dalai Lama’s perspective on our inability to connect to one another, our lack of intimacy and our connection to our “stuff” in the following passage:

“He (the Dalai Lama) even theorizes that the physical contacts we have with objects in our environment, from cigarettes to jewelry to waterbeds, act as substitutes for intimacy (pg 80).”

Well…that explains quite a lot doesn’t it?  The shopping, the materialism, consumerism…lots of other isms I can’t think of right now. It also explains why when it is time to let go of the stained shirt, the torn pants and the tarnished ring it can become nearly impossible. You’ve  developed a relationship with these items,  and maybe you feel they know you better than anyone else does. They are friends, family even.

Maybe…what do you think? What are your reasons for keeping too much stuff around you? Or if you know someone who has clutter, why do they have problems letting it go?

"Can you let me play?" My client and I found this note on her desk...what is you answer?

The importance of play.

In is TED talk, Dr. Stuart Brown, author of Play and founder of the National Institute for Play, speaks about the psychological importance of play. He cites many studies showing the benefits of play on memory, vitality, stress-reduction and more. Much more.

I don’t doubt his findings.  One of the most creative and productive people I know often starts his day with 20 minutes of Red Dead Redemption or Guitar Hero. Both are in his office. That is the extent of my current research but luckily, Dr. Brown has done quite a lot more.

We are all working harder than ever these days. It is necessary, no doubt about it. However, the other side of that work equation is play. Maybe we need to also play a little harder to balance out all of that hard work. I have long been encouraging my organizing clients to reward themselves when they spend time clearing out drawers, planning their week or whatever it is they don’t particularly want to do but must. Rewards can make the “chores” a bit more fun or at least increase the likelihood they’ll get done.

However, what Stuart Brown is suggesting is so much more powerful! He is saying to infuse everything we do with play. Let the work (including the organizing!) we do be as playful as possible. Infuse it with body motion, use objects, fantasy, story-telling and whatever kind of transformational kind of play we can think of. Let’s rework work.

The best part is he has so much science backing his findings. Reworking work into play, well, it works.

How have you made work more playful? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Also published on Examiner.com

Organizing the brain (Photo by Derrick T)

I am going to add a page to my site with all of the basic professional organizing techniques for closets, kitchens, bathrooms, offices, basements, attics, kid’s rooms, shelves, medicine cabinets, garages, rumpus rooms, sun rooms, saunas, sewing rooms, Arizona rooms, cars, trunks and broom closets.

I know these step by step, what to do, what not to do lists are important so I am going to do it. I had lunch with a friend yesterday who admonished me for the lack of organizing 101 information on my site so I will make it happen. I’ve been thinking about it, however, and I know why I didn’t immediately post these 10 ways to x,y, z list.

It is because after 10 years as a professional organizer what I’ve learned is that while these “how” steps are important – what is essential to lasting organizational success are the “why” steps. That brings me to today’s list.

This list is about what to think about before you start organizing if you want lasting success. I would say it is a bit about organizing your mind. So here it is…

The top 10, most important steps for organizational success are the 10 before step 101.

100. Decide to make lasting change. If you don’t really want to then don’t bother. It isn’t that important. See Seth Godin’s book The Dip.

99.  Ask for help from experts. Do you try to fix the plumbing if it fails or do you call the plumber?

98. Be willing to do things in a different way. Maybe a few times to find what works. Experiment.

97. Be willing to invest time and effort in new way of doing things.

96. Be willing to make small changes over time – go easy.

95. Be willing to let go of what is not working, literally and figuratively.

94. Be open to a new way of scheduling time as well as structuring space.

93. Keep it simple with whatever new systems you look to implement. (i.e. Color coding is usually a bad sign)

92. Realize this is not a brand new plan to get organized for now, but rather a habit you are developing that you will be working on and revising and improving on and changing for the rest of your life.

91. Have fun. (Really.  Find a way.  Play music, listen to a podcast, splatter paint, burn the piles of paper in a bonfire, sing, dance around the desk, jump on the bed…find your way -  but do it.)

Can you tell I got my haircut?

I got my hair cut today. Not such a blogworthy story. What is blogworthy about this particular hair cut is that my amazing stylist, artist, beautifier extraordinaire came to my home. After moving to a Beverly Hills salon she has made herself available to me in Venice, at my home, so it is more convenient and cost-effective for me – repaying me in spades for my continued loyalty. (Ok -  I strayed once. But never again!)  She has set herself apart from the rest in myriad ways.  This was the icing on the cake.

It got me to thinking…as I’m always thinking… about what sets me apart from other organizers. For another example, my hair stylist only cuts hair. She doesn’t color. Even though she could make more money these days if she did color. But in the long run it would not pay off to diversify this way. She is an artist and she is creating a niche. I think this long-term thinking is so smart even though it is hard to stick to at times.

What has always set me apart is that long term thinking. I am not looking for a quick fix for you. I want to inspire change that sticks. Change that works into your overall lifestyle in a way that is sustainable (for you and the environment). Long term. Therefore, my methods are not for everyone. Many call wanting an overnight solution – like the shows on TV where in 24 hours Tinkerbell (and her team of giants) has sprinkled her magic organizing dust on the cluttered home and POOF! Order is restored. I know that is satisfying to watch in some ways. But it is also demeaning in another way because no one learns anything … not the people who live there or the people watching. Come back to that home in a week.

Some people want a quick fix. They want the “problem” to go away. But that “problem” is called your life and it doesn’t go away. It is begging to be dealt with. I want to help people who are committed to doing things a little differently over time. Those little changes add up big time. I’ve seen it. You can’t trust something that happens overnight. That guy/gal you just met that is completely in love with you. The make it rich quick scheme. The drink this shake for a week and lose 20 pounds diet. All sounds great. Try it one and all and come back and let me know how it goes. If you think about your actual experience – successful, lasting change happens when you put in the effort, slowly over time. Might not be too sexy but the results are real.

Experiment with fire (Photo by Everyone's Idle)

Sometimes I’m working with a client and I’ll propose a new way of doing something that just doesn’t sound great to them. Like, throwing papers in the recycling bin instead of stacking them up for months.  I’ll say, “Well…maybe you can try it as an experiment, since what you’ve been doing so far hasn’t been working.” Sometimes this tack works and sometimes not.

But I like the idea of an experiment. I use it on myself all the time…I don’t have to do “x” this way forever. I just have to try it and see if it works. Getting up at 6:30am to exercise. Cutting eggs out of my diet. Cutting sugar out of my diet. Opening the mail as soon as it arrives. Being nicer to so and so. Ha!

Becoming a little scientist in your own life allows for a little distance, a little breathing room. You can go from, “I’ll never, ever do that” to “Ok…maybe I’ll try it.”

Who knows…maybe you’ll discover the cure for cancer. Or at least the cure to your clutter.

Tune-up (Photo by Robert Couse-Baker)

I had a new client today and I think I might have learned more from him than he did from me. My lesson: We don’t have to wait for a break-down or a break-up to have a break-through and want to make improvements in our life.

This guy’s story is he that he needed a professional organizer more for a tune up than an engine overhaul. He had some systems set up already and wanted my opinion of them. We did some tweaking to see if we could turn productivity up a notch: Weekly planning session, daily priority list,  intern for calls and email overflow.

When all was said and done I gave him a clean bill of organizational health (should I start handing out badges?) and went on my merry (Poppins) way.

I really loved my lesson…it’s one we use in some areas (trainer to get to the next level even when we are already in great shape) but not in others (the garage is in a shambles).

So nice to be reminded since I most often get someone at the end of their proverbial rope but it doesn’t always have to be back against the wall, wall on fire. Thank you, dear client. I’m learning.

Venice is getting packed these days. So packed, that I had to drive around for quite a while, on a Wednesday (not even a weekend!) to find parking. I know – cry me a river! The point is that I couldn’t find my car tonight! Wandering the streets with my (very patient) friend I was taken by the fact of how beautiful the neighborhood is, how sublime the weather, how  subtle the flowering scents. Forgetting where my car was – well, it was quite a gift. And I actually received it.

Sometimes being disorganized is a gift. Ok …well…at least the process of getting organized can be a gift. If we can be present for it. Going through the old pictures – hey, you had crazy hair back then didn’t you?! Or, finding that thing you thought you’d lost – the heirloom, the love notes…

Sometimes…getting lost is its own reward.