Feet. Floor. Walking to Kitchen.
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I hear a lot about being present and I never ever get it. I always think that I do and then the idea slips out of my fingers … slippery, very slippery. Then I get so annoyed with the whole thing. I keep hearing about all of the Law of Attraction ideas – most relating to being in the moment (in order to get the Ferrari you want – oh and the mansion. Sorry to be snarky I’m just that way sometimes.). I’m supposed to be smart, I’m also supposed to understand productivity and time-management and still – these ideas remain a lot of ethereal, sublime bull to me so much of the time. Grrr!!
What is it that I cannot seem to grasp? Oh – this is so, so me. Trying way to hard. Thinking that it is about being smart and about being a certain something that other people have and I don’t. That in ten thousand more hours at my job I’ll know it. This leads in (somehow) to this crazy and insane fight I’ve been having with myself about getting up in the morning to exercise. Now – I usually do get to it at some point in the day to some degree but I’ve decided that smart and successful people do this task in the morning. Also, I just am happier and more sane when I do it in the morning. The back and forth of “well, I’ll go to the gym at noon, no … how about the 6pm class” and on and on and on is just moot if I exercise at 6am. So… the other kind of argument starts at 6am.
Me: Get. Up. Now.
The other me: No.
Me: Yes.
The other me: No.
Both of me: Oy.
Today I got to this place of – what is so bad about just putting your feet on the floor? How does that really feel in this moment? How are you feeling right now with your feet walking into the kitchen? And that was that. Because the answer was…I feel really great right now. Exercise began and there was no argument because I wasn’t in the future of how I thought exercise would feel. I was in the exact moment of now. I think maybe I got it. Almost afraid to say. Ha!
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